Happy Valentine's Day! This is the first year I can actually read my kid's valentine's cards. It's a fabulous thing. I wore my glass heart pendant complete with little 1st grader fingerprints to work and got all kinds of compliments. I work with beautiful people. I live with beautiful people. Even if they did some serious damage to the neatness of my home.
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"Malisa, you're just so beautiful and perfect. Being with you makes me want to give up everything I have been working for my entire life, and that scares the shit out of me. So, although I think you are as close to God as a person can be, I can't see you any more."

There is only one person in this world I would buy this from. And that's because he didn't ever say this to me. And I decided to keep him as a friend anyways. THE REST OF YOU ARE ALL LILY ASS YELLOW LIVERED FUCKIN' LIARS! And I wouldn't want to date you anyways. Cuz you're a wimp. So get over yourselves.

As a sidenote. I wouldn't want anyone to give up anything they had been working on for me. And I certainly wouldn't want you to change your life. Chances are, that's why I like you. RETARD.
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Confused by distinctly separate but contradicting emotions
My job is good. I get paid well for a job that I love. - Content
Wondering if I'm good enough to keep it - Fear, Wonder, Hope
Looking at my children - Beauty
Watching them struggle - Empathy
Watching them achieve - Pride
Watching them choose dangerous paths - Fear
Meeting a beautiful, nice man who knows of love - Hope
Wanting a beautiful, nice man who knows of love - Fear
Knowing a beautiful, nice man who knows of love and not involving my heart - content
Knowing that I've been screwed emotionally, fiscally, and robbed of time for the next 11 years - immeasurably pissed
Knowing that I've succeeded despite being screwed - Strong
Knowing that I will be screwed again but wondering when - Fear

 
A few years ago my oldest son asked me for a new dad - to fix the cable. I had to explain that what he needed was the cable man instead of a dad. I used to think that I just need a clone of myself. A Mom2 to help with the time constraints of being only one person and having two children. However, I've recently been thinking that maybe the kid has a point. After all, if I had a man he could do all those things that I hate doing that men love to do. He could wash my car. He could hang up the shelves. He could do the yardwork (in my imaginary yard). He could go to the bank. And then I realized - most of these things are "man" things becasue men usually have the tools. And all of these little tasks would be so much easier with the tools. No more screwing in screws with the butter knife. No more mowing the lawn with the weedeater. Just have the man do it. Better yet, screw the man, just give me the damn tools. Actually, can I keep him as a tool too? I hate when the batteries die.
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I My kids' school is a money sucking pit. It has taken them 5 months to complete a psychic eval on my youngest son and get things going for his special ed. My other son's teacher refuses to let him know about tests ahead of time, because she's not sure of the date. So, needless to say education isn't perfect. I never thought it would be since they are in a public school, but so was I and my requests are things that I grew up with. To add salt to the wound they send home a "weekly newsletter". It's one legal size page front and back full of various fund raisers. Front and back. No news, no comments. Simply two pages of requests for money. But today they invaded my home. They sent home these little 3X5 magnets just like you would get from your dentist, but with the kid's artwork on it. The darn things are $5 a piece. But they didn't send home the order form, just the magnet and the bill. Yes, I can return it. But that means that I have to explain to my kids why I don't want the beautiful picture they made me.
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Maybe the secret to pulling my head out of my ass is in how I approach my weekend. I definitely feel better this weekend having ran some errands and preparing for the week ahead instead of spending the entire two days recovering from the week just past.
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