GROWING UP? being able to admit vulnerability
and a desire for love
enjoying peace
enjoying other's happiness
rather than feeling jealous
cooking when you're not hungry
because other's are
asking for what you want
holding out for what you want
rather then grasping at strands of hope
using a product specifically to "cleanse your colons"
Can I just say I LOVE my new boss. I was supposed to be at work at 8:30 on Monday, but she called me up and said, "I don't want you to have to get here that early, come in at 10:00, we'll show you around, take you to lunch, and then get you home early." I am so tickled. This is going to be a good thing.
So what does a 27 year old single mom (no crack or abs) wear out to a night on the town?
To a trance club? (no florals, which includes all of my mini skirts except the wool plaid one)
In a sushi bar? (no leather pants)
In Orange County? (no jeans)
When she's being escorted (not dated, but still no roaming) by a really sweet ex-mormon.
HOT SHIT The Chipotle restaurant around the corner sent me a coupon for 3 free burritos. I've had nothing better to do this week, so I've been down there a few times. I order the burritos with hot sauce. Buy a bag of chips with guacamale and enjoy a XX. There are usually people hanging out for lunch and I've enjoyed talking to them. The sauce on the burritos is really hot. This is a surprise because usually, they just call it hot meaning it's more than tomato paste. However, this stuff is so hot my lips burn while I eat it. Good stuff! After 3 days of this little routine of mine I found myself on the toilet for a really long time this morning. Guess what? It's still hot!
G: Mom, do you know how to french kiss?
M: Yes, have you?
G: No. How do you french kiss?
M: You put your tongue in her mouth.
G: No.
M: Oh yeah? Then how do you?
G: Spit at her.
Yesterday I had intended to go to the beach, run, and then lay out. It ended up being all gloomy though and I just walked around Newport for some reason. On my way home I decided to stop at the mall and pick up some basic pumps (not easy to find in this age of sandals and spiked heels). I was still wearing my running pants and tank top but since I didn't smell, I didn't really worry about my appearance. I was clean. So I walked into Robinson May's shoe department found the shoes I wanted and went up to the counter. As the very old, very gay guy is ringing up my purchase he looks at me and say. "You look like a sport woman. I wouldn't think you like these." He was very surprised when I told him I had more clothes at home.
The excitement of the new job and the move has finally started to wear off. I'm suddenly feeling very scared and alone right now. There's so much to do and nothing is moving. I know it's not true. I'll have the whole summer to make friends while the boys are at their dad's. It'll be the perfect time to find a house and get settled in. Maybe I'm just tired and cranky since I didn't speak to a single adult all day.
I need a new trail. The one I've been running has been a little unplesant since the weeds have grown in. I find myself running in the little groove cut out by a bicycle tire and wishing I had a machete to cut some of the growth down. I have to look harder for the snakes. This week I even made a new friend. Let's call him Flower because he's a skunk. He's nice enough to warn me whenever I get too close. He must be able to smell his own stink because he hasn't sprayed me yet. Every day I'll be running along and I'll here heavy movement. I'll stop and look, and there he is with his tail in the air. I run forward or backwards, and when I come back he's gone. Every day I creep past up to the palce I saw him last, and each time I'll have thought I missed him when he scares me again. However, today I had to call it quits. There was a swarm of bees on the trail. I can deal with the animals. I can deal with bugs, but not bees.
My best friend and I have the same hormonal kickers. Birthdays are a big one. You want a really good birthday and if you aren't dating "the one" it's time to move on. That way at least you can hook up with that person you've had a crush on but you've never had the nerve to make a move on. You know, the one you could totally spend hours touching and kissing and.....you get the picture. And now, it's your birthday so you have every right to get trashed and finally go for it.
So birthdays are one. Moving is another. I watch him go through it all the time because he's always moving or visiting (visiting counts). Moving is the perfect opportunity to have romantic flings. There are no reality checks. You can give all you want to give. Take all you want. You don't have to worry about getting hurt or hurting anyone else, because after all - nothing permanent can happen. It's out of your hands. (Yes, I realize this underscores all of my fears of real relationships and my ineptitude in this department.) However - in celebration of my recent decision to buy a house (somewhere) and move (somewhere) and the fact that I haven't gotten any in a LONG LONG time - I'd like to throw a party. A "Malisa needs to get laid" party. Any suggestions as to when and where are welcome since I've been to only one place since I moved here and it always smells like puke. Everyone is invited. All women must bring two eligible men and extra kudos if they're sweet, intelligent, and can impress me with their ability to survive.
