I hate driving on the freeway. I hate driving on the street.
I hate driving in the rain or in the snow when it is steep.
I hate driving in the sun
And in the fog
And with the tunes
I hate driving to a talk show
I hate driving in the dunes.
I miss my kids.
I detest my car.
I hate driving
so very very far.
And when my boss
says don't stress about this
I want to jump and scream and hiss.
Unless I work at home you see
I have to drive to work and be
so very very pissed off and we
won't like the bitchy me.
But in a month from now I'll move
To who knows where
And who knows how
And then I'll start all over you see
and get back to the normal me.
Where life is young
And roads are short.
Where men are young
and girls are smart.
Where I can buy a house
I think.
And avoid those sucky taxes
bleep.
Right now I can't say I'm very calm.
The thing I hate is four hours long.
While things around me are fine and dandy
Right now I can't say I'd really stand me.
OK. My writing has sucked lately. It is missing joy and laughter. I apologize. In an attempt to avoid suckdom I am making a managerial decision. I probably will not continue to post every day. I will post a few times a week, but I will no longer sit here and post boring stuff because I have to write something.
That is not to say that I won't post boring blogs every once in a while. After all this is a journal of sorts and some of these things have more to do with me than entertainment. Today's entry for example. Today's entry is neither happy nor entertainment. It is a plea for acceptance despite my insanity. Not that I need a response - maybe simply writing it down will make the bounce return to my step and my smile more instantaneous. However, I just need to say - this is just something that bugs me, not something that has ruined my life.
If you have a really really good date is it ok to be bummed that the person never wants to speak to you again?
I'm not mourning the loss of love, but the loss of friendship, and quite possibly - a really good lay every once in a while. And yes, the loss of romance because I don't let myself enjoy it very often.
So does that make me one of those women a man is scared to have a relationship with because he might end up saddled with two kids that aren't his own? And what is the proper way to let someone know you require monogamy and prioritization while experiencing romance before everyone starts worrying about buying a house with a two car garage?
First day of work was great. I love the people and the place. Granted I have to work in a cube instead of having my own office, but that's a minor thing. I don't feel like I have much to say to anyone. They are all really nice, but I felt really empty inside today. I'm sure they could hear their voices echoing through my head.
Super tired.
Maybe I shouldn't have had the cup of coffee at 8:00 PM last night.
Maybe I should have shut the window when I heard the people digging in the trash under my window.
Maybe I should have eaten something more than carrots in the past 24 hours.
Maybe it was sitting the car for 3 1/2 hours today.
But I still feel like I need to take a walk.
And then crash.
Arts and Crafts Day So how often does a parent get to make a praying mantis out of clay and a city out of paper mache`? This is the kind of homework I don't mind doing.
