For those of you that are wondering where I've been, I'm not dead. I've managed to work 60 hours this week, and am not yet finished. I've been catering to two separate bosses, training two new people in my department, I've churned out numbers for quarterly board meeting, created 4 new reports, and two new business processes. I am organizing a booth at the kids Halloween Carnival for this Saturday. Have had a child's birthday, whiile mine is on Saturday. All while having a spat witht the man. So while you read on, know that everyone is doing well, I'm not sad, mad, or even annoyed. Nor is anyone's penis falling off.
I get up every morning at 4:00 AM. This may seem insane, but it's less stress than trying to raise two children, have a career, and stressing about what time I leave the office every day. At least this way I leave at 4:30 PM - no questions asked.
The other morning I woke up and was closing the boys door, when Greggory says (from the couch), "Mom, we're over here." And sure enough they were. In my groggy morning stress, I say rather grufffly, "Go to bed," and patter off to the bathroom. When I get out of the bathroom they are in their room, but they are just standing there. Now really worried about all the work I have to do I yell, "Get in bed!" and off they go.
I stagger into the kitchen to make coffee and I notice there are coffee grounds on the counter, and cereal crumbs. I turn around, and on the kitchen table was a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and a little card. "Good morning mom. Here's a present! Love Greggory." He even drew me some flowers and hearts.
Could a mom feel any worse???? Well, of course I went in and apologized and hugged and snuggled and I apologized through the entire week, but I don't think I'll ever be getting breakfast in bed.
It's pretty hard to piss me off. Or maybe it's not. All you have to do is ignore me. I'm not talking about not calling back within the hour. I'm not talking about being too busy to play for a week. I'm talking about canceling EVERY plan we have for three straight weeks and giving me a lame-o excuse like "I have some things to take care of so I can't meet you on Sunday for the couple of hours you were hoping for." THAT - will piss me off. Especially after I got up at 8:00 in the morning after an all-night party to drive an hour to meet you for breakfast.
However, the worst part of this pet peeve is that there is no vent for my growing anxiety. After all, I can't very well tell you I'm frustrated if you don't have time to talk to me. And so - day after day the frustration builds, and I'm no longer mad that you canceled. I'm just PISSED you're an asshole and I don't matter enough for you to talk to. I feel like I'm standing in front of a closed door just wanting to yell and scream. Until I no longer care that the door is closed and you're not there to listen. And so there I am jumping up and down yelling things like, "You can't fire me - I quite. You yellow-bellied wimp. Asshole! Wimp! Why don't you face me like a man! Oh, because you are a man."
You know - stupid stuff, because after all the door is closed and no one is listening, which is pretty good since I dont' really mean it, I'm just sad you haven't FUCKIN CALLED ME.
So next time you were wondering how the best way to break something to me is - just not facing the situation is a really bad way to go. Just in case you were wondering.
Having two bosses with two different deadlines is not a good thing.
Neither is having a boyfriend that can't make up his mind.
Or having a bruised eyeball.
But at least I don't have ring worm on my penis.
Or a penis for that matter.
This was perfect considering I got up to start working at 4 this morning and didn't get home until 7:30 tonight. Thanks Katie.
>>From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
>>
>>What makes 100%?
>>What does it mean to give MORE that 100%?
>>Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than
100%?
>>
>>We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give
over
>>100%.
>>
>>How about achieving 103%?
>>
>>What makes up 100% in life?
>>
>>Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
>>questions:
>>
>>If:
>>A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
>>
>>is represented as:
>>1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
>>
>>Then:
>>
>>H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
>>8+1+18+4+23-15+18+11 = 98%
>>
>>and,
>>
>>K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
>>11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
>>
>>But,
>>
>>A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
>>1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
>>
>>And,
>>
>>B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
>>2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
>>
>>AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
>>
>>A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
>>1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
>>
>>So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while
>>Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
>>get you there, Bullshit and Ass Kissing will put you over the top.
>>
>>I rest my case!
