I have a bug bite on my back. At least - I think it's a bug bite. It's right under my bra strap and it's huge. It could be a zit though. It felt like it had a head, so of course I had to squeeze it. And of course it didn't pop. But I did scratch something off of it that could have been a head I guess. Except it was more like a piece of really hard fuzz. Or a crumb. If it was a stinge that was one monster sized bug. Any which way the swelling is going down, but it was really really wierd.
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Why are men such jerks???? Let's be real here. You're male. You're over 30. You should know that women know you want a piece of ass. You should know that this is the last piece of information you need to advertise. Yet how is it that you think you - a stranger, however cute you may be - can just IM me and say shit like "I live near you and I need a massage"? Did you not read that I am 27? That fact alone should have warned you this wasn't going to work. How about the fact that I can usually type in complete sentences? Hmmm, that should only have added to your hesitation. How about the fact that every single one of my profiles contains witty and entertaining jokes? You really think that I can't get laid any time I want and that I would resort to picking up quick fucks on line?!? IDIOT.
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Memories from my childhood:
Learning to walk heel first (rather than toe - heel)
Trying to climb a brick wall and pulling the top brick off and onto my head
Watching the Sat afternoon special (you remember - where they played a movie about a children's book) about the ghost in the attic and being scared shitless for the next 2 days
Eating the green furry fruit out of the neighbors front yard (it was only a yard from the sidewalk, public property right?)
Finding out 5 years later it was called kiwi and most people don't eat the skin
Sneaking in the neighbors back yard (well aware I was now trespassing) and stealing sour oranges
Riding for what seemed like miles to get to the public library twice a week and checking out 5 books at a time
All of them were Nancy Drew
Pretending I was Sherlock Holmes in the back yard
My nightmare about my bed being an island and green ghosts haunting the waters
The feral cats I trained
Missing the word "beautiful" on a spelling test. I'm still sure I was right.
My girlfriend Tanya chasing me, tripping, causing us to slide on the asphault ripping one of my braces off. I was mad, she was sad. It ended up with her mom calling my mom and me apologizing for telling everyone the girl "fell on me". Apparently that wasn't nice since she was 3 times my size.
Every house on the block I lived
Our Sunday walks past the house with the geese
Telling my girlfriends I knew karate (when I didn't and they did)
Having the end of my baton "accidentally" fall of in baton class so that I would get attention
Standing in front of the heater in kintergarten to dry my pants so no one would know I had wet them
Counting the tiles on the floor in kintergarten
My mommy sending chicken noodle soup in a really cool thermos
Getting caught wearing tights and shorts at school after my mom had told me no.
More than once.
I don't usually hate my ex.
Actually, I do always hate him. I'm just not usually angry with him. After all, he's an entire state away and he never talks to us, so it's hard to be angry at something that passive. But tonight I'm very angry with him. It's all his fault! (BTW - it's always all his fault.) But now there's more! In Oct he brought the boys a new computer. He spent an entire weekend making a humungous mess out of my apartment putting this computer together. Then he left. And I had to clean up. I quietly swept the remains of my old computer in a corner and we proceeded to use the new one. Except - it doesn't work. The god damn thing freezes up every time it idles. Every time it doesn't. Every time you pick your nose. Worst of all - every time you plug one of the kids educational games in the CD drive. Well tonight I had had enough. I decided to plug in the old computer and just use that one. Except, it's not all there any more. I don't know where it went, but it's not there. What ever was connecting the CD player to the rest of the computer is missing. I tried to plug something else into it but it just started smoking, so I decided that wouldn't work. So now I'm sitting 3 feet deep in a pile of computer parts typing on a computer that will freeze any minute now. I think I'm going to have to clean off the hard drive and just install Windows again. I have a slight idea on how to do this, but that's about it. Someone said something abuot saving everything to disk. From there I guess I'll just have to wing it. If anyone has some suggestion (or some free time) please let me know. If you don't ever here from me again, I'm ok. I'm just retarded.
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I now remember why I've never been real depressed about the loss of my breasts. I have armpit boobs. That's right - no cleavage. Even worse, when I'm on my back they bloop right around the side leaving my nipples directly under my armpit. Hence the need to have some serious heavy duty clear deoderant. When your rib cage is only 9 inch inches wide there's not enough room for a 1 1/2 inch gap between them. I guess I'll have to stop cheating and actually switch hand positions when I'm doing my pull-ups. Maybe some serious flies will help too.
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I saw "The Shining" the other night. It's actually a pretty scary movie. I actually screamed at one point. Felt pretty silly immediately after, but still, I screamed.
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