Being stuck in LA traffic and needing gas is bad.
Being stuck in LA traffic, needing gas, and having to poop is worse.

 
A TRUE COMPLIMENT
When your date fails to tell you how wonderful you look when you're all dressed up for the ball you might think he's an ass.....until he tells you that you appreciate people for the goodness in them and that you wouldn't get a long with someone obsessed with money and how many shoes they own. Well done my friend.

 
BAD IDEA #3
The reason nobody wears their strap on clit vibrator during sex is because it will bruise the shit out of your pelvic bone.

 
HOLD UP!
Under NO circumstances is wearing a carnation pink suit, white ruffly blouse, and WHITE HOOKER BOOTS appropriate office attire. Especially if you do not resemble a killer woman from Austin Powers.

 
DID YOU KNOW?
...your metabolism drops by 3% when you are the least bit dehydrated?
...english is not the official language of the United States?
...I have a very painful bug bite on my hip?

 
I've been rather reclusive lately. There are many reasons for this. However, today I'd like to share with you some of the people I've seen lately.
I've seen the woman who can't stand to be with her husband because he reminds her of his twin brother. She is pregnant and far from home. He is working many hours away from home. Together they grow further and further apart. Planning for their separation.
I see a man chasing after his high school sweetheart that has broken his hear time and time again. I see him longing for love. Willing to give his heart to someone that does not respect it.
I see a woman with her Prada bag and make-up on a Sunday morning. I watch her sweetheart bring her a paper and carress her hair while she reads it, not even acknowledging his presence.
I see a divorced father telling his son he may be able to work in a half-an-hour a day to help him with his homework. After all, dad is now taking on-line courses and doesn't have much time.
I see a woman moving to a new country into the city of her last lover. Prodding him with her vicious memories, unwilling to let the wounds heal.
I see the husband fucking his wife without birth control while she suffers from postpartum depression.
I see the many many people suffering from disrespect and yet they have the one thing I do not. Someone to cuddle with tonight.
Is that the price I must pay?