My sister and I were eating dinner at an OC restaurant when we spotted this girl. She was fairly tiny. 5'2', 115 lbs and she had the most perfect butt. Now my sister and I have become quite the ass experts from the male perspective. We definitely do not understand the male obsession with the toosh but we certainly appreciate having been the recipients of many second looks ONCE we pass by. However, this behind confused us. It was round but not large. Honestly, we could have fit one cheek in each hand yet they were perfectly moon shaped. We understand the mechanics of this muscle and it is just not round without extra meat back there. Our rather tempered conversation went like this.
M: Look, behind my left shoulder.
K: White pants?
M: Yep. That's a nice butt, isn't it?
K: It is, but it's ....odd. It's almost too perfect.
M: You don't think it's fake do you?
K: I do. We're in OC after all. Look around. We have the only real boobs in the county.
M: Yeah, but a butt?
K: I'm sure of it.
M: But she's so young. How would she have been able to afford it?
And then we were blindsided by a very young man who just steps in our view and says, "Yes, it's fake."
K: I knew it.
M: Her butt is fake? How did she pay for it?
H: She didn't. I paid for one cheek and my friend paid for the other.
M: Why would you do that? Is she dating both of you?
H: No. We went to high school together and she had no butt. She really needed them so we helped out.
The whole conversation went absolutely no where from that point since that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard - but - it makes for a good OC story.
Bubble Gum Ice Cream
Remmeber when bubble gum ice cream came out. It was blue and had multi-colored bulbs in it. It really didn't look very appetizing. How many of you were bound and determined not to have anything to do with bubble gum ice cream. (My mother wished I was.) How many of you were sure that bubble gum ice cream was the grossest thing ever invented and would never ever try it in a million years - until you heard that it was a darn shame they had stopped making it because it was Sally Joe's favorite flavor. Then you suddenly would have given your big toe to have a scoop?
