CELEBRATE!
I can feel my abs!!!! It only took 3 weeks of strengthening & cardio, and one week of intense stress causing me to lose my appetite - but it was all worth it. Now let's just hope I don't get happy before April and put all that weight back on.

 
A present from my 10 year old.
I cannot claim this work as my own. Enjoy!

I know I don’t have a title its just this darn computer it wont let me go to the top of the screen .Any way lets get to my story my story is not real it is fiction. Any ways (You all know Link right a guy from Nintendo the Elf with the green clothes and a sword with some really cool powers.) Well this is his story of how he got his sword.
Well Link was walking through the forest he was getting further and further into the forest. Then he was out of the forest and there he saw a mountain shining as bright as gold. Then he saw something very shiny at the top of the mountain next thing everybody knew he was climbing the mountain like a mountain lion. He was half way there when he heard something coming from behind him it was a ninja. He was in trouble now wait no he wasn’t the ninja jumped up Link took his mighty leg up and thrust it down with all his strength. He hit that dummy so hard on the head that the neck bone snapped in two “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” said the ninja.
When Link reached the top of the mountain he saw that the shiny thing was a rare sword that had a funny marking on it that looked like this (never mind the computer doesn’t have the funny marking.) He was looking at the shiny handle and burning bright blade. He gripped the handle with his two strong hands and pulled with all his strength but he couldn’t pull it out. He tried again this time the ground was shattering underneath him. The third time he tried to wrench it out well the ground was broken up so it was easier for him to get it out. Last time he would try to cock it out of the ground he pulled with all his strength and to his success he got it out. He flew off the side of the mountain but how was he going to live he knew how he would he took his sword with both hands and stuck the sword into the side of the mountain and Link was just hanging there like a baboon. He was stuck he tried to pull the sword out a little out of the mountain and he slid to the bottom of the mountain and he was safe there at the bottom of the mountain every body from his little town was there so that’s how he got his sword.



The End

I just figured out a title. At the bottom of my page that’s just crazy who would ever do that I know why I would do that because this well you heard what I put at the top of my other page well here’s my title





Link and His Sword

 
IF WOMEN HAD PENISES
I used to rent a house with an old Jaguar in the back yard. It had been one of the first models they had brought over to the states. While they had moved the steering wheel and foot pedals to the left side of the car, they had left all the gauges on the right. I have a feeling this is what happened to the penis. In the next series of humanity we may find this tool in a different place.
I've recently had the opportunity to observe the penis' ability to act as barometer of emotion. I realize this is nothing new. However, it's only been over the last few years that I've been observing penises in their 30's rather than the more boisterous 20's. It seems like these penises consider more than whether they want to play or not. If the condom is uncomfortable - it lays down. If there's something the asshole in charge hasn't mentioned - it lays down. I rather like this development. It just seems to be an inefficient way to use this technology. It actually seems like this brain is less biased then the one up top.
Men don't develop consciences until they are in their 30's. Imagine if women had been the one with this ability. There is the lube issue, but that is so easy to get around. It would work better if our vagina's just wouldn't open when we're not in the mood. Then men would never get away with not spending enough time in foreplay. There would be less rapes. Women have better intuition then men so you would think this would be a much better gauge then on the men. Like the car, this is extraordinarily useful, just not the best use of technology.

 
SILENCE

stillness runs through my tired brain
so many lives
so many adventures
not to be had
will there ever be
a time for me
a time to let go
a time to run free

i knew a man
a man who ran free
no ropes
no chains
no loves
but the sea

tired
so very tired
of pain
and faces
faces that leave

searching for something
something to hold
scared it will flee

learning to fight
when doing so
adds value
to the treasure in hand
that constantly struggles
too loose your bands